How To Advise A Friend Who Is In A Bad Relationship
When it comes to friendship, you know that you want to be able to tell your friend anything, especially if you feel that he or she is in the middle of a bad relationship. But just how do you tell your dear friend that you believe that the person they care for is not right for them, or even worse, a danger to them? This can be a very tricky situation as many people have left their friends for lesser things. If your friendship is strong and you truly care for your friend, you want to make sure that you say something.
First, you want to make sure that you are not being judgmental of the person your friend is seeing. Or trying to put your own standards on your friend's relationship. This is a hard thing to do for anyone, especially since you probably care a lot for your friend. Make sure that you are looking closely for real signs of problems and not what you perceive are not right for your friend. If you just do not like your friend's boyfriend's clothing, that is certainly not a reason for a big sit down talk. Check your motives first. Ask yourself why you feel the need to speak on this sensitive matter with your friend. Once your motives are pure than go ahead and speak to your friend in a manner that they will understand.
If you feel as though your friend is being physically or verbally abused then you have to say something. If you suspect that your relationship is unhealthy in any way, it is your duty as the friend to be there and stand up for the best interest of your friend no matter how difficult it may be to discuss it with them.
You will want to make sure that you pick a time that is not already overly stressful for your friend. If your friend is already having a bad day, you do not want to make it worse. Pick a moment where you are both being open and talking with each other about issues in life. You want to make sure that you are approaching the subject of the bad relationship carefully though. Mention how you are concerned about the way the relationship is going and that you think that your friend could do so much better.
Make sure that you are pumping up the self-esteem of your friend. If the relationship contains verbal or physical abuse, there is a chance that your friend is staying because of a low self-esteem. Boost that self-confidence and talk about how there are plenty of other people out there who could treat him or her so much better. Avoid making derogatory remarks about their partner. Your focus should be on your friend.
You are probably going to find that you were overly nervous about the talk for nothing. Even if your friend does not agree with you right away, you at least made your concerns known and it will give him or her something to think about. Just keep the lines of communication open so that when your friend is ready to talk some more about it, you will be there waiting. Remember a true friend sticks with their friend through thick and thin.