Want To Win Your Ex Back?

Break-ups are hard on everyone. Oftentimes, it is even more difficult on the person who did the breaking-up than it is for the person broken-up with. If your girlfriend recently broke-up with you, you are probably feeling overwhelmed with pain. You may feel a loss of love and a lack of control over your life. Of course you want her back. Your first instinct is to do everything you possibly can to win your girlfriend back. But the truth is, when it comes to winning your ex-girlfriend back, the less you do, the better. This is a concept that most heartbroken guys find extremely insane and impossible to accept, but you will learn that the more space and understanding you give your ex-girlfriend, the better. Your girlfriend needs to see that you are first of all, sane, compassionate, repentant (if it is appropriate that you should be), and even happy. Nobody wants to get back together with a bitter ex. It does not make for a good relationship in the future, and it definitely doesn't benefit you emotionally in any way. Fortunately, there are many things you can do to help yourself bounce back emotionally enough to begin the road to happiness, and this will eventually lead you to a way to earn your girlfriend back and feel love again.

Accept The Separation...For Now

The first thing you MUST do if you ever hope to get your girlfriend back is to accept that the old relationship is over for the time being. Whatever problems there were in the relationship, you can't harp on fixing them right away. Your girlfriend needs space. She needs time to heal, to think, and if you ever want your girlfriend to forgive you, you'll have to allow her the time to consider it. Relationship problems will work themselves out in the right time, but you need to let go of your girlfriend and what you had if you ever want to start anything new. Instead of trying to grasp what is truly out of your control, focus on leading a life with your self for a while. Time will play a factor in the relationship healing process, so it is vital that you allow time to move you through to better days.

Practice Self-Control

No matter what happens, you must resist the urge to contact her. Do not call her constantly, if at all, do not write, and definitely do not stalk her. Trying to find her or talk to her when she doesn't want to be contacted or found is a sure way to scare her off even more and widen the gap between the two of you. It doesn't matter how much you miss your ex-girlfriend. You need to leave her alone. No matter what you say or do at this point, she will only reject you and think worse of you for trying to trap her. Above all things, do not act or say mean things to her. You may be hurt, but that is no reason to take your feelings out on the girl you want to win back. Consider talking to a relationship therapist or counselor if you really find it difficult to control yourself. There are many love and relationship counselors that work with post break-ups, and speaking with a therapist can help you sort your own feelings out instead of spreading them in the wrong direction.

Make Yourself Happy

If you're ever going to be well enough to win your girlfriend back, you need to do everything you can to make sure you yourself heal and get over the break-up. Check in with yourself regularly. Try doing some meditation or doing things that relax you. This is a good time for introspection. You can also distract yourself and grow as a person by taking on new and challenging hobbies. Your ex-girlfriend may even find it attractive if you show that you improve yourself. You can try reading self-help books, or again, try seeing a counselor. Try to resist wanting your girlfriend back right now. This puts you in a state of mind that takes you away from making yourself happy in healthy ways. If you want your girlfriend to want you back, you have to become someone you yourself like if she's ever going to like you again. Learn to love yourself, and she will love you again too.

Offer Friendship

Finally, after a good amount of time has passed, you may begin to offer your friendship. This has to be pure friendship however, with no strings attached and no expectations. Be gentle with your offer. Your ex-girlfriend needs to be able to trust you. If you offer true friendship, which is always a beautiful gift, you may have a chance of winning her back, but you have to let her make the move. Again, give her pure friendship and do not EXPECT anything. Expecting something from your ex-girlfriend will only show that you have impure intentions. Your intentions must be pure and you should only offer kindness and support. Down the line, if she decides that she wants to try to have you back in her life, you both can consider couples counseling. Couples counselors specialize in love and relationships and can help with healing old wounds and especially with nurturing new trust and affection.

The most important thing to remember with all of this is to have patience, and to learn to love yourself. If you want to win your girlfriend back, you have to take measures to grow into a healthy and happy person. Trust that love will find you again, and everything will eventually fall into place.