Four Myths On How To Get Your Ex Back

I have researched tons and tons of content about how to get an ex-partner back after a serious breakup, and believe me, most of these so-called "tips" are all hokum. These "experts" believe that their advice applies to ALL relationships - that if you do this or not do that, you will be guaranteed a second chance with your girl. I, however, know that the complexity of all relationships does not allow for that - there is no definite set of rules that will get you out of your predicament.

Of course, there are some things you need to change about your attitude so that you will strengthen your case in front of your ex-girlfriend. She dumped you; therefore, there is something that she was dissatisfied about in the relationship. You're going to need to change that. I can't figure these flaws out for you because I don't have an idea of what your previous relationship was like, but I can disclose to you five of the most common myths about breakups that a lot of people consider to be true but are actually with no basis.

MYTH #1: YOU SHOULD NEVER CONTACT YOUR EX AFTER A BREAKUP

This is just the most childish "advice" I've heard about relationships. Of course, there are instances where it is inappropriate and forbidden to contact an ex after a breakup, but to NEVER contact them? As in, an eternal ban of communication from your ex-partner? This can't be farther from the truth. What if your ex tries to contact your first? What if it's been over a month since the break up? What if you are both working at the same place and you need to be able to talk to each other? Does this advice still hold?

Maybe the more appropriate tip would be "If possible, limit your communication with your ex, and sensibly ask your ex to do the same." And this situation shouldn't go on for more than a month. Trust me, relationship heartaches normally cease three weeks after a breakup. So, I think it's safe to talk to your ex freely and openly after three weeks. But never before that.

MYTH #2: YOU SHOULDN'T BE SAD ABOUT THE SITUATION

Of course you should be sad! You are not a robot; it's okay to be depressed because of a breakup. We are talking about real emotions here, real memories wasted because of disagreements and irreconcilable differences. You should grieve about the breakup before you can finally truly get over it.

What is unacceptable, however, is making it obvious to your ex how sad you are. If you're on the process of figuring out how to get your ex back, then you shouldn't be showing weakness and desperation in front of your ex. You can grieve, but grieve silently. Be depressed discreetly. Open up to a few trusted friends about the situation, but not to everyone.

MYTH #3: YOU SHOULD NOT ACT IMMEDIATELY TO GET YOUR EX BACK

Did you know that almost all breakups involve a third party of some sort? It can be a very real possibility that your ex broke up with you because she already found someone else; she just didn't want the hassle of being called a "whore" or a "slut" by being together with two men at the same time, so she broke up with you. Not acting immediately to retrieve your lost relationship will only reduce your chances to zero. So, really, don't believe this hoopla about "being patient" or "giving it time". You have to act as soon as you've broken up.

That is not to say that you won't give your ex some space. You should, but only for a few days. When the dust has finally settled, try talking to her and telling her of your plan to get the relationship back. This will take her off guard and will stunt the possibility of her getting together with another guy.

MYTH #4: MAKING YOUR EX JEALOUS IS EFFECTIVE IN GETTING HER BACK

This is the biggest lie in the book in my opinion. We have mentioned already in the article that the main reason for breakups is a third party - if you let your ex-girlfriend see you seemingly happy on dates with someone else, then she will be convinced all the more that the breakup was for the better. She will then pursue her new relationship seeing that you've already moved on. So, in reality, this plan will backfire from the get go. Don't make her jealous - instead, show how committed and loyal you are to the relationship by not seeing other people.