Article Categories Relationships Post-Divorce

5 Tips To Help You Find Your Way Following A Separation


By: Linda Robert


You've heard the saying "act despite your fear". "Easier said than done", some would say, especially if you are truly afraid. When you do not know how to be or how to act in fear, it would be simpler with instructions. The other weekend, while I was driving on a major highway, I experienced fear for my life and major stress. My friend was in the car in front of me cruising along and I wondered how he was doing it seeing the traffic was extremely heavy and the cars were doing over 120 km.

Living in separation is the same. You'll see some people act as if separation is the best thing since sliced bread and others who can't manage. On the highway when you follow someone who knows where they are going it simply makes things easier. It may be the same thing for you as you go through your separation.

These next few tips will help you drive the separation highway, one kilometer at a time.

1. Have a clearly laid out map so that you know where you're going. Without a map of where you want to go, you can easily get lost... So, do what you need to do to draw a map or a clearly laid out plan to help you deal with your separation. Follow this map one step at a time. Just like when you're on a major highway, you must follow the map to get to where you want to go, it's the same thing with being newly separated. If you're afraid, following the map will help you.

2. Eliminate all distractions: Just like while driving a free way in a major city; all the other cars and the sites can easily distract you. Focus on what's in front of you, put some blinders on if you have to at the beginning, do only what you need to do to get yourself through this.

3. Find or follow someone who's gone through this before. Again, I'll use the analogy of the major highway. If you follow someone who knows where they're going, especially at the beginning, the distractions will soon disappear, the fear won't be as big, and you will start relaxing more when you get to where you want to be. Join a support group for recently separated and divorced individuals. Someone in the group will be able to provide support.

4. If no one offers you support, ask someone, anyone for help. If you have no idea where you're going, don't think just anyone is going to ask you if they can help you. It certainly can happen, but chances are you will have to get out of your comfort zone and ask someone's help and that's OK. Learning to be an awesome receiver is just as great as being a great giver.

5. Trust that you are living everything that you have been intended to live. Each and every moment you go through is meant to provide you with a space that says you are worthy and lovable. You will come through on the other side with a new and fresh look at life.

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